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Diffuse Conflict

This was a worksheet that a pastor friend gave me several years back when I started doing counseling. It's simple and easy to follow along, and has been something I've used, not just with married couples, but in other areas of relational conflict as well.

Consider adding it to your personal toolbox so the next time you find yourself facing conflict, you can DIFFUSE it!

-DK


How to Diffuse Conflict in Your Marriage:

D - DEFINE the problem (on your own).           Proverbs 15:14    

                                                                        
I - INITIATE a time to talk.         Matthew 5:23-24


F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person.           Proverbs 18:19    
 
                                       
F - FEEL their pain (as though it were your own).             Proverbs 17:17

                                                                        
U - UNCOVER the root problem.       Proverbs 20:5
          
          Symptom           Root
           Money     Values, Priorities,
           Power / Control Issues
           Sex Communication, Unmet
           Emotional Needs,
           Past History / Baggage
           In-Laws   Loyalty, Expectations
           Children / Work     Roles and/or GoalsExperiencing God’s Dream For  Conflict

Resolution:

S - SET things right between you.       James 5:16

1.  Own your responsibility.
2.  Confess - “I was wrong. . .”
3.  Ask forgiveness - “Will you forgive me?”


E - ESTABLISH  a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed
           (Write it down)  James 1:22-25


                                                                                
• Husband - I commit to . . . by . . . (when?)

• Wife - I commit to . . . by . . . (when?)
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