Having worked as a new paper reporter, kitchen assistant, cart pusher, children's pastor, campus pastor, and lead pastor in 2018 Pastor Devin stepped into a new role: selling Real Estate.
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This was a worksheet that a pastor friend gave me several years back when I started doing counseling. It's simple and easy to follow along, and has been something I've used, not just with married couples, but in other areas of relational conflict as well.
Consider adding it to your personal toolbox so the next time you find yourself facing conflict, you can DIFFUSE it!
How to Diffuse
Conflict in Your Marriage:
D - DEFINE the
problem (on your own).Proverbs
I - INITIATE a
time to talk.Matthew 5:23-24
F - FOCUS on the
“perceived” problem, not the person.Proverbs 18:19
F - FEEL their
pain (as though it were your own).Proverbs 17:17
U - UNCOVER the
root problem.Proverbs 20:5
SymptomRoot MoneyValues, Priorities,
History / Baggage
WorkRoles and/or GoalsExperiencing
God’s Dream ForConflict
S - SET things
right between you.James 5:16
2.Confess - “I was
wrong. . .”
3.Ask forgiveness -
“Will you forgive me?”
ESTABLISHa specific action plan that
addresses the issue discussed
I don't often have much use for CNN as a news source, but this story by John Blake is so dead on in its point on Bible illiteracy, that I can't not share it! Its a bit long, but worth every moment it takes to read and consider!
By John Blake, CNN
(CNN) – NFL legend Mike Ditka was giving a news conference one day after being fired as the coach of the Chicago Bears when he decided to quote the Bible.
“Scripture tells you that all things shall pass,” a choked-up Ditka said after leading his team to only five wins during the previous season. “This, too, shall pass.”
Ditka fumbled his biblical citation, though. The phrase “This, too, shall pass” doesn’t appear in the Bible. Ditka was quoting a phantom scripture that sounds like it belongs in the Bible, but look closer and it’s not there.
Ditka’s biblical blunder is as common as preachers delivering long-winded public prayers. The Bible may be the most revered book in America, but it’s also one of the most misquoted. Politicians…
Here's a post from the archives. This was from an early morning prayer time back when I was a Children's Pastor in Kansas. It was a powerful concept then, and I believe just a applicable now!
This morning I managed to drag myself out of bed early and make it in to church for our Thursday morning men's Bible Study. Noting the next youngest person in the room was a good 10 years older, I'm going to consider that an accomplishment for today. However, that's not what's significant about the time I shared from 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. this morning.
Our Pastor was talking our of the gospels, using the stories of Jesus feeding the 5,000 and then the 4,000. Then, shortly after he is done with the second miracle, Christ and the disciples get into their boat, which as an aside may very well have been from Peter's former fishing fleet. As they're traveling, Jesus says in Matthew 16:6:
Be careful," Jesus said to them. "Be on your guard a…
I believe that as a pastor one of the most important things I do is to invest into others. Even in the context of promoting Christ, if I make someone feel important and valued, then they are going to see Christ in a much different light than if I make them feel unimportant or devalue them.
I'm certainly not a master at this, but it is something I strive for. Be it the checkout line at Wal-Mart talking to the cashier, thanking the hostess as I leave after a meal, or speaking to a kid who doesn't seem to be connecting with others, I look for opportunities to 'touch' others with a word of encouragement. While I don't do it to gain anything for myself, the results are often amazing.
Just yesterday I went through a drive through and got a drink. When the lady at the window opened the window to take my money, I smiled at her and said "Hi. how are you doing today?" Simple right? She looked at me for a brief moment then said "Actually, it's a good day. …