Having worked as a new paper reporter, kitchen assistant, cart pusher, children's pastor, campus pastor, and lead pastor in 2018 Pastor Devin stepped into a new role: selling Real Estate.
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This was a worksheet that a pastor friend gave me several years back when I started doing counseling. It's simple and easy to follow along, and has been something I've used, not just with married couples, but in other areas of relational conflict as well.
Consider adding it to your personal toolbox so the next time you find yourself facing conflict, you can DIFFUSE it!
How to Diffuse
Conflict in Your Marriage:
D - DEFINE the
problem (on your own).Proverbs
I - INITIATE a
time to talk.Matthew 5:23-24
F - FOCUS on the
“perceived” problem, not the person.Proverbs 18:19
F - FEEL their
pain (as though it were your own).Proverbs 17:17
U - UNCOVER the
root problem.Proverbs 20:5
SymptomRoot MoneyValues, Priorities,
History / Baggage
WorkRoles and/or GoalsExperiencing
God’s Dream ForConflict
S - SET things
right between you.James 5:16
2.Confess - “I was
wrong. . .”
3.Ask forgiveness -
“Will you forgive me?”
ESTABLISHa specific action plan that
addresses the issue discussed
When my wife and I bought our home in 2015, one of the things we wanted to know about, as may do, is the condition of the roof. There is nothing more frustrating than making a major home purchase and then finding out that you have to immediately pump thousands of dollars into it because something wasn't in a good, usable condition!
Of course, there are property disclosures that help us avoid that scenario, and those are helpful. But when it comes to your roof, even if it's in great condition today, one good hail or wind storm could potentially change that! Even without that kind of misfortune, your roof takes a beating much like the skin on your hands. Every day it takes the full force of the elements, so eventually it will come to the point of needing to be updated, maintained, or replaced.
That happened to a neighbor this past fall. When it did a group of men showed up and did something I'd never seen before... they put a metal roof on the house! Working at a church, I …
Last year my wife and I noticed that the drain in our kitchen was starting to get very slow. Over time, despite cleaning it out and running extra hot water, it reached the point of being completely clogged. Eventually, we had to call not one, but two plumbers to get the issue totally fixed, because it turned out we had a level 5.
The stuff coming out of our drain pipe literally looked just like the stuff in this picture:
Makes you want mashed potatoes, right?
And I won't even tell you how vile it smelled. Thank the Good Lord for my wife's stash of essential oils and multiple diffusers!
Now, our problem was pretty serious, and one that had been building up (literally) for decades. Long before we moved into the house this issue existed down the drain (HA!). And the first plumber who used his auger really was a big help in giving us an understanding of what was happening and getting us on the path to clear pipes.
Unfortunately, he couldn't do all the work in one day, so we h…